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Every time an alleged predator within the queer community pins their sins on their sexuality, no matter how obliquely, bigots gather more kindling to stoke their anti-LGBTQ arguments.
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The LGBTQ community is well-versed in pain and rejection, but the community at large also understands that those moments of hurt are never justification for abusing another person. For every study and anecdote dispelling dangerous stereotypes, one non-apology about not being loved enough refuels a system of prejudice. We are one that already endures so much criticism, prejudice, and scrutiny. But there is something particularly egregious when these instances happen between two members of the community. There is no comparison to be made between victims of abuse every person's story is different, within the queer community and without. In the short list of highly publicized queer #MeToo cases, the queer community is still working out what to do without the gender dynamics that animate allegations in the straight community. If, in fact, his apology recognizes the alleged wrongdoing, now is a time to listen, not explain. Gugliemelli's explanation misses the point. Allegations like these, be it for "catfishing" or soliciting sexual content under false pretenses, are not an opportunity for reputation management. A qualified apology is not an apology it's a PR campaign. I learned on that show how important 'loving yourself' is and I don’t think I have ever loved myself." To be candid, that's bullshit. Ignoring the allegations and taking that apology at face value has the potential to erase the stories of alleged victims, and only hurts the gay community.Īfter writing that what he did was "truly cruel," Gugliemelli adds "Until being on RuPaul’s Drag Race, I never really understood how much my mental health and taking care of things meant. And when it comes to allegations from one queer person against another, a community's reputation is at stake.
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In the #MeToo era, the standards we set for ourselves matter. Not only is it an out that's too easy, but it cheapens the real struggles of people who are working through trauma without hurting anyone.Īpologies and pseudo-apologies, like I'd consider Gugliemelli's, matter. Justifying bad behavior with your own painful history is equal parts dangerous and irresponsible. In the case of Gugliemelli, the alleged actions are beyond a bad opinion (voting against gay marriage, say) or a reprehensible take expressed on social media. To lesser extents, gay men (particularly white gay men) have used the difficulty of self-acceptance and difficult upbringings to make sense of poor judgment and damning behavior. In a terrible twist, that rhetoric has occasionally been co-opted by gay men to explain away grievances within the community. Another person was allegedly asked to videotape himself masturbating, so that he could "feel more macho." On Thursday, Gugliemelli posted a message onto Facebook in response:įor years, conservative circles have leveraged debunked talking points about how queer men are more likely to commit sexual crimes than their heterosexual counterparts. Shimkus claims he was asked to delve into the psyche of a male character with rippling muscles busting out of his clothing, then asked how that made him feel. The allegations against Gugliemelli surfaced after a man named Ben Shimkus alleged in a Facebook post that he'd corresponded with a fake persona about what turned out to be a fake audition. When the allegations emerged, Gugliemelli posted on Facebook that "I learned on that show how important 'loving yourself' is and I don’t think I have ever loved myself." One man alleges Gugliemelli solicited sexually explicit video from him and five men allege that Gugliemelli "catfished" them into believing they were auditioning for acting roles through a casting process that never existed. The night before Sherry Pie, a New York-based drag queen, was set to make her televised debut on the premiere of Season 12 of RuPaul's Drag Race, BuzzFeed News published an explosive report: Five men have come forward with claims that Joey Gugliemelli, the man who plays Sherry Pie, coerced them into sexual correspondence under false pretenses.